Easier
by hopelessxoxoromantic
Summary: When Riley gets tired of the toll the triangle has taken on every aspect of her life, she walks away from everyone involved. Will she finally find the peace she so desperately needs or will the triangle always follow her? Lucaya at first. Eventual Rucas. There will be a lot of angst.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! New to Fanfiction! Please feel free to leave a review! This story will be told through Riley's . **

**Chap. 1 **

It was the first day of our senior year of high school. It felt like time was passing by in a blur. One second, we're in middle school, and the next everyone was asking serious questions about our future. What college were we considering? What major were we thinking about? Is the triangle finally over? The last question had persisted since middle school and it often felt like even if I did eventually did decide what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, the triangle would always be undecided and unanswered. We would always be stuck here, never moving forward and unable to go back in time before all these feelings happened.

Maya was my best friend. I was hers. She always had a crush on Josh. I had a crush on Lucas since the day I fell on his lap in the subway. Maya doesn't like Josh anymore. Maya likes Lucas. Riley still likes Lucas. Lucas likes us both.

"RILEY!" my mom yelled for probably the millionth time. "You're going to be late for your first day!"

Technically, it was my first day of a brand-new school year, but it felt like every other year. The more things changed, the more things stayed the same. I was living the exact same nightmare, I had been living since middle school, with no end in sight. I was having the same thoughts I had every morning before going off to school. My best friend likes Lucas. I like Lucas. Lucas likes us both. It was my first day but the day itself was no different than any other.

I leave my room and follow the smell of eggs to the kitchen.

"Is Maya joining us for breakfast?" my Dad, Cory asked. Of course, some things had changed. Maya's absence from the breakfast table was obvious evidence of that. Things had to change. Someone was going to feel awkward. Sometimes even resentful. No amount of thunder or lightening could prevent that.

"No. she's probably at school already painting. You know, trying to get ahead on her portfolio", I responded.

Maya was still my best friend. My very best friend. She was sister. But Maya liked Lucas. I liked Lucas. Lucas liked us both and no one had made any decisions. So, things were different, yes. But the more things changed, the more they stayed the same.

I entered the school kind of nervous. I was still close to all my friends, but the summer before senior year was different. I refused to spend any time with my friends. I wasn't angry, it was just time to myself that I desperately needed.

There was always some college I needed to visit or some networking event. Or I needed to be in Philadelphia because my grandparents weren't getting any younger and Josh was finally home from college. But during the school year, I was trapped. It was either face my friends or break off all ties. Even though the pain of being stuck was too much to handle, I had to believe that losing all my friends and starting over had to be more painful. At least that's what I wanted to believe.

I saw my friends approaching my locker. Farkle, Zay, Smackle, Maya and Lucas. I sent a prayer up to the big guy that no one would comment on my disappearance this summer.

"Riley, I'm so glad you're alive! I was beginning to think you moved away this summer and all your excuses were just a way of letting us down easy," Zay exclaimed!

I guess the big guy was taking a break and missed my prayer.

I smiled my bright Smiley Princess Sunshine Riley smile, "oh Zay, I could never do that! I just needed to get ahead on college planning." That lie again. The lie I was telling all summer.

I couldn't help but notice how close Maya and Lucas were standing next to each other. I noticed the way Maya was studying me intently and Lucas was avoiding eye contact with me altogether.

"But I'm here now! We all have so much to catch up on! How was every one's summer? I continued.

I heard choruses of "It was great! But we missed you!" but before I could comment, the bell rang. Maybe the big guy was listening afterwards.

During lunch, I hoped to delay my entrance into the lunch room. However, as I was exiting the classroom, I ran into Maya.

"Are you going to keep ignoring us? That seems to be on brand for you as of late." Maya asked, teasingly, but with serious undertones.

"I would NEVER." I gasped, playfully. This felt normal. "I'm actually finally getting around to signing up for extra-curriculars…"

"for college? Yeah got it. Everything is for college lately. What are you signing up? Maya asked curiously.

"Well…tutoring…debate…and um, I think I'm finally going to go ahead and sign up for cheerleading because why the hell not?" I responded

Maya skimmed my face quickly before responding, "Riles, are you sure everything is ok? We haven't seen you all summer. And now you come back and are trying out for cheerleading?"

I tried not to get defensive, but I felt like I didn't have to defend my choices to Maya. Maya had decided to like Lucas and I never really got an explanation. But that's not what we were talking about right now and I couldn't let that cloud the conversation. So, I took a deep breath in, careful not to tip this already delicate balancing act.

"Peaches, I promise I'm fine. I just think its time I put myself out there. I've been saying, I wanted to join the cheerleading team since middle school. I said I was going to do it freshman year, but I never got around to it." I responded with a smile.

The truth is, that Lucas joined the football team freshman year. Maya believe that if I became a cheerleader that would mean spending a lot of time around Lucas and she had no extra-curricular activity that would give her just as much time with him. She could have joined the cheerleading with me, but she refused. So, I just didn't join. It was easier.

"If you insist. We just missed you, honey. Lucas had a rough time this summer. He lost his Pappy Joe. I'm still not sure he's okay. Maybe you could talk to him? Actually, can we talk after school? Bay Window?" Maya asked.

"Sure." I replied. Because it was just easier.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **

**Hey guys! I'm back again! I've actually written the next five chapters of this story. I was randomly inspired on Monday night at 10 pm. Well here's Chapter 2, which is super short! Let me know what you think! **

**Chapter 2 **

It had been a really long time since I had anyone come through the window for some good old bay window time. It wasn't as if I had banned the practice. But it had become one of those things that had suddenly become taboo. No bay window time for Lucas & I because Maya had no Bay Window to even up the score.

Zay was Lucas's best friend so we never had bay window time. Farkle loved me & Maya the same, so he couldn't come in through the window to offer sage advice because it would seem like he was picking sides. Smarkle was his girlfriend, so she was on his side no matter what he decided. It was insane, how many areas of my life this triangle had consumed.

It probably wasn't as depressing as I was making it out to be. We were all still friends. We still hung out in school and after school. They were still the group of people who knew most, if not all of my secrets. But it would be naïve to believe that the triangle didn't cast a shadow over each of our interactions. Every word or action carried some kind of implicit pretext, I was tired of trying to understand

"Hey Riles. Earth to Riles. I thought we were here to talk" Maya asked annoyed.

"Yes. I'm sorry Maya. What's on your mind?" I asked.

"Well this summer, was hard on a lot of us. Lucas's Pappy Joe died." Maya said

Yes. I was in Philadelphia when I heard the news. I was selfish when I heard the news. The old Riley would have been on the first train back to New York when she found out. But this Riley offered only a lame text. He had our friends and he had Maya. That was enough. It had to be enough. Perhaps he was angry with me, that's why he couldn't look at me earlier today.

"You didn't come back to the City. So, I went to Texas with Lucas to comfort him. I guess we have to find a way to even it up. I'm guessing that's why you stayed away all summer." Maya continued.

I snapped back to reality. I felt sick. There was no way Maya could actually believe that the only thing I was concerned about was how to even things up. Someone who Lucas loved more than anything had died. There was no way to make this about the triangle. Yet here we were.

"Lucas thinks you might have found someone else. It's okay if you've moved on Riles. If you did, that's great! We can finally put an end to this dumb triangle. You have your special someone and me and Lucas can be together." Maya said hesitantly.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell in her face that maybe she should find her special someone and then me and Lucas could be together. If I couldn't yell, I wanted to jump out the window, run away and never be asked about the stupid triangle or my feelings for a stupid boy ever again.

"Do you still like Lucas?" Maya pressed. Before my mind could make sense of what was happening, my mouth spoke.

"No." I responded quietly. It was just easier.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHORS NOTE: **Hi guys! Just a heads up there will be a little bit of time jump. We jump forward about two months after Riley tells Maya she no longer likes Lucas. I included a quote from one of my all time favorite movies! Lets see if you can figure out which one!

Enjoy :)

Nothing happened for a while. Then everything happened all at once.

It was early November. Since my conversation with Maya on the first day of school, I had done my best to keep to myself. I wasn't intentionally trying to shut everyone out. It was just easier this way.

Immediately after our conversation, the rumor mill at Adams High went into overdrive. Maya and Lucas: the hot new couple, or at least that's what everyone speculated. However, at school, I witnessed no signs that they were a couple. But then again, I wasn't around much.

After the conversation, I finally did everything I said I would. I joined the cheerleading team. I joined debate. I checked every extra-curricular box. It was finally beginning to feel like I could find life outside of the triangle.

But of course, I couldn't avoid everyone forever.

I was in school late one afternoon, prepping for homecoming. I was sent out to look for Samantha, a girl on our squad who had probably wandered off to flirt with one of the guys on the football team.

I looked into one of the classrooms, and accidently interrupted the science club, locking eyes with Farkle. I quickly apologized and hurried to close the door, just barely hearing Farkle say, "I'll be right back."

Hoping he was just going to the bathroom, I quickened my pace.

"Hey, Riles! Wait up! Farkle, yelled. I was caught.

I turned around and responded cheerfully, "Hey what's up!"

"What's up? Are you being serious right now Riley? What's up with you? Farkle demanded

I knew things weren't perfect, but I didn't expect our conversation to turn so quickly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, defensively.

"Don't play dumb Riley. You told Maya, your feelings for Lucas were gone. That sounds like the end of the tringle to me. But yet, the day after you tell her that, you disappear. You stop hanging out with us. You stop answering texts. What did we do?"

I knew that I should apologize. Farkle was only angry because he was hurt. Whatever was happening between Maya, Lucas, and I didn't have to affect my other friendships. But the triangle was all-consuming, spilling into every aspect of my life. If I was breaking ties with the triangle, I was also breaking ties with everything it touched and ruined.

"Farkle, I didn't exactly see you running to check if I was okay. Everyone was happy that the triangle was over. Everyone was happy that Maya & Lucas finally got together, and I get it, okay? It was an occasion to for everyone to celebrate, but it wasn't exactly a walk in the park for me." I replied, slightly raising my voice.

"You didn't give anyone the chance to check! What's that line from your favorite movie? "You took away your friendship without even discussing it with us…with me! Farkle yelled.

He was right, and it stung. But I was in too deep to backtrack now.

"I'm sorry Farkle. I really am. I'm sorry if I hurt you. But I needed to put myself first for once. I hope you can understand."

"I'm sorry too Riley. I'm sorry we were such awful friends, that you couldn't do that with us around."

"Farkle that's not what I meant…" I pleaded

"Just forget it Riley. Bye." And he walked away.

It would have been great if that were the only encounter I had that day, but unfortunately when it rains, it pours.

* * *

The game happened, we cheered, the team lost but that didn't stop everyone from being excited about the after party. If anything, it meant that everyone, especially the football players wanted to drink and forget the defeat.

After my earlier confrontation with Farkle, the last place I wanted to be was at a party. Especially if it meant risking another confrontation. But I promised the squad I would go, so that's how I found myself in the library of the quarterback's house.

The library was empty, and a nice break from the blaring music of the lively party. I could sip my beer in peace and slowly without the rest of the squad yelling at me to chug it. My sanctuary was interrupted when the door of the library swung open.

My head snapped up from the book I was scanning. This honestly couldn't be happening.

"Riley. Riley Riley." Lucas said as he sauntered over.

Great. The only thing worse than a sober confrontation, is a drunk one and Lucas looked absolutely smashed.

"Lucas. Hi. Are you okay?" I asked, concerned as he stumbled over his own two feet.

"Am I okay? HA. That's a good one." Lucas laughed, humorlessly. This was already off to a rocky start.

"We lost the game. I lost my grandpa. I lost you." Lucas continued, "I'm great at losing obviously."

"Lucas, I'm sorry about the game and your grandpa. But you haven't lost me. I'm still your friend. Riley insisted.

"FRIEND? This is what friendship looks like to you? That's funny. I think this is the first conversation we've had in months and I don't even know why. Why did you stop talking to the group? To me? Why didn't you come when I lost my grandpa? Lucas demanded, raising his voice.

"Lucas..."

"Maya was there for me, when you weren't. She was there at such a critical time, when you couldn't even be bothered. I was there for her when her mother screwed up her relationship with Shawn and Maya's shot at having a father. But it was nothing that couldn't be evened up if you had come back to city" Lucas slurred.

There it was again. We somehow always ended up here. The triangle. The constant need to even up.

"You knew how much I missed you. You knew how much I needed you, especially after I lost Pappy Joe, but you didn't care. You made your mind up about me way before you had that conversation with Maya." Lucas said accusingly.

I honestly didn't think I had. I was tired of the triangle sure, but I woke up that morning with the same feeling I had every other day. That nothing was changing, and the triangle was never going to end. I told Maya I was over Lucas without checking with my brain or my heart. It was out my mouth before I could stop it.

"Don't deny it Riley. The letters. I know you received them, and you didn't respond to any one of them." Lucas pressed.

Those fucking letters. I knew exactly what letters he was referring to but I sure as hell wasn't going to give him the satisfaction, so I just looked down at my feet.

"Damnit Riley, talk to me" Lucas whispered grabbing my face and forcing me to look at him.

"I don't know what letters you're talking about." I responded harshly.

"Fine Riley. If that's how you want to play it. Fine." Lucas responded, releasing my face. "But it's time you start dealing with the consequences of your choices. Me and Maya have been dating but we didn't tell you because we didn't want to hurt you. But you're this new and improved Riley who obviously doesn't care so screw it: Maya and I are dating. So, make your peace with it."

Lucas stepped away and walked out of the library leaving me to my thoughts. The Adams High rumor mill was actually correct. I wiped the tears starting to form. No way was I going to stay here and risk YET ANOTHER friendly reunion.

I walked out of the library and down the stairs, ready to get out of this hell hole. As I reached the bottom of the stairs, my eyes caught Lucas & Maya dancing and kissing in the middle of the dance floor. Maya & Lucas, the happy couple. The couple that should have always been.

Even though I had bowed out months earlier, the picture in front of me made me realize the triangle was really finally over. And that's what I wanted, right? No more limbo. No more evening up. No more, I like Lucas. Maya likes Lucas. Lucas likes us both.

It was all different now. Maya liked Lucas. Lucas liked Maya. Lucas picked Maya. It was that simple. It was that easy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: **

okay so i keep receiving messages [I don't know if its from the same person or not] about how lucaya is trash... RUCUS is dead and that Riley shouldn't have Maya's sloppy seconds, which i can understand- i can do without the foul language but i get where the person is coming from.

Let me start by saying that i'm a huge RUCAS fan and so unfortunately for those really protesting it, this will probably end with Rucas [maybe I haven't actually decided yet]. However the story i'm telling here is a long one. This triangle issue starts in middle school and if the story continues how I envision it, the consequences from the triangle will last past high school and maybe even past college [hint hint sequel coming]. Thats a lot of growing pains and life lessons, that are going to shift relationships and friendships. Its going to to be messy, feelings usually are, not every love story is perfect. But i hope that as the story continues, you understand the growth behind the characters, and the work/pain it took them to get to their final destination, whatever that may be.

It may be hard to see Lucas with Riley right now and you may feel angry at him or Maya, but life/feelings aren't static. people are allowed to change and grow. so just stick with the story and lets see where it takes us :)

June 2017

_Dear Riley, _

_I'm writing you letters because I know what a romantic you are. Maybe by the time I'm done, you'll have 365 letters like Allie in The Notebook. A movie, by the way I haven't forgiven you for making me see like 1,000 times. There are some similarities. I've written you 5 letters now and I haven't heard one response. I don't think Topanga is hoarding them like Allie's mom though, so you must be ignoring me. I wish you would just respond to one and tell me why. I miss you. Please come back to me. _

July 2017,

_Dear Riley, _

_I've texted you. I've called you. I've written you. I know you've heard about my Pappy Joe passing away. I'm in Texas now. Maya's here with me. I appreciate everything our friends are doing to put me back together, but I know this would go easier if you just came back. I need you. I know I've been selfish. I know I haven't been fair to you. I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. The longer this triangle went on, the longer things felt out of control. I feel very out of control right now. You're my anchor, you've always been my anchor and without you, I'm scared I'm becoming the old version of myself. I need you. _

August 2017,

_Dear Riley,_

_We're starting school soon and I'm angry at you. I'm soooo angry at you. But I know that once I see you, my anger will dissipate. I don't' think my hurt will though. I know you're angry at me too. This has been going on since middle school and years later, nothing has changed. I know you must think I'm a coward because I can only express myself on paper. __ But I promise you, if you just give me a chance, I can be the western hero you believe I am. Just don't give up on me yet. Please. I miss you. _

_ -Love Always, Lucas_

I don't know what prompted me to come home and read through some of his old letters. I knew I was already in pain and I was just making myself even worse. But some sick part of me needed this.

Lucas was angry at me and granted maybe he had a reason. But I was angry at him too. I was hurt by him too. It took him years to say how he felt [kind of because even his letters weren't totally clear] and even then, it was only through letters. And the letters only came after I finally got fed up and left for the entire summer. But there were countless summers, and school years, that he let this drag on.

And in the end, he did with Maya in a few months, what it took years for him to do with me. And with Maya it was completely different.

For me, it was years of the triangle, and evening up and then secret letters. But for Maya, it was dating within a few months and sharing with the world, the love and affection they had for each other.

So, no Lucas I don't remember the letters you sent me. I much rather forget them because they were a reminder of everything i never had and everything I lost. There were simply a reminder that even if Lucas at one point actually cared about me. It still wasn't enough. I wasn't enough.

* * *

Waking up on Monday morning after a weekend of crying into my pillow and watching romantic comedies left me feeling as if I didn't sleep at all. I had gotten a grace period after my conversation with Maya, where I got to live in a world where the triangle was simply over. There were no consequences, no couples that came from it. It was just simply over.

But Lucas had given me a fair warning, Maya and him, were dating, and I had to make my peace with that.

I dragged my feet downstairs and sat at the kitchen table. My mom walked over and patted by back sympathetically, "It'll get better sweetheart. I know right now it feels like the world is coming to an end. But hold on Riley, my strong warrior woman"

I nodded silently because that's all I could muster and ate my breakfast in silence.

Upon entering the school, I noticed I had held my breath the entire way there. I made it a few steps into the school before I saw and Maya & Lucas at the lockers, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. I could feel people looking at them in awe and then looking at me in pity. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

So, I did what any other reasonable person in my situation would. I ran. I ran out the door and didn't stop running. I had been running away from everything for such a long time, there was no reason I couldn't keep running.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chap. 5 **

_*****Flashback*****_

News Years Eve: 8th Grade

"_Riley still loves Lucas!" Farkle shouted when the clock struck midnight. My breath caught in my throat and the rooftop cleared faster than I could blink._

"_Riley is that true?" Maya asked, obviously hurt that I kept this secret. _

"_Maya, maybe I should speak to Riley alone." Lucas spoke up for the first time since Farkle opened his big fat mouth. _

_Maya refused to move. "I can speak to you later, Maya" Lucas continued. _

_Even if I was unaware of it at the time, it was in that exact moment where the constant need to even up began. Lucas couldn't have a conversation with me about his feelings if there wasn't a promise that he would later do the same for Maya. _

_Maya nodded silently and took off for the stairs leading back into the apartment. _

"_Riley is what Farkle said true?" Lucas whispered, searching my face for any indication of the truth. _

"_Lucas…please. Let's just forget what he said." I begged. "It doesn't matter." _

"_What? Of course, it matters. We're talking about your feelings Riley. They always matter. I need to know the truth." . _

_It was obvious, I wasn't getting off this roof without telling Lucas something. He wasn't going to give up. _

"_Okay, fine yes. I may still have feelings for you Lucas. But it doesn't matter okay? Because Maya likes you and you guys had a moment in Texas, so you obviously like her. She's had a rough life and she deserves all the happiness in the world." _

_I couldn't do this to Maya. Maya who was only 14 years old, but who had suffered more to last her three lifetimes. I couldn't be the friend who told her to "dream big dreams, because she was going to get everything she wanted in life," while simultaneously being in love with the guy she liked. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't be another reason why Maya was broken. _

"_Riley. I understand how much you care about Maya. But I don't think you're handling the current situation correctly. You lied to us and as much as you care about Maya, I don't think you have to hurt yourself in order to keep her happy. Lucas said. _

_He was wrong. If it meant Maya could be happy at least for a while, I would hurt 1,000 times over. At least that's what I thought in the moment. _

"_Well then how do you suppose I handle the situation? How exactly am I supposed to handle my best friend and the guy I like, having feelings for each other?" Riley demanded. _

"_Riley, you're jumping to conclusions and making decisions based on those conclusions. I don't even understand these feelings so, how can you? Feelings don't automatically mean romantic feelings. I…" Lucas trailed off. _

_I stared at Lucas, waiting for him to continue. He was searching for the right words to say in the moment, but I doubted there was anything he could say that could fix this mess. _

"_Riley. I know how much you care about Maya and I don't want to do anything to hurt Maya because if I do that, I'll hurt you. And I never want to be the one to hurt you. Lucas said softly. _

"_So, what do we do?" I asked. _

"_I honestly don't know. I guess we wait and see what happens. We try to understand our feelings a little better and when we do, we'll go from there." Lucas suggested _

"_Ok." I agreed. It seemed to be the best the solution for our current predicament. Gather more information, assess the information and go from there. It seemed like the most adult decision we could make. _

_If_ _I_ _knew that I would be waiting almost four years for a decision, I don't know that I would have still agreed with Lucas because although he said he never wanted to hurt me, that night he set in a motion of course of events that would absolutely destroy me. _

* * *

**Present Day: **

I sat in my room after running away from school. I knew that my mom and dad would eventually find out that I missed an entire day of school, but I couldn't bring myself to care at the moment.

I had to take time to make sense of my feelings. I wanted my feelings to make sense. I needed them to make sense. At the start of the school year, all I wanted was for the triangle to end. And now it was over, and I was running out of school like a scene straight out of a stupid soap opera.

Maybe it was because even though the triangle was draining, and it ruined everything it touched, sometimes it was the easier option or at least the safest one. Could that really be it?

No, it couldn't be the answer because in the end, the triangle wasn't really the easiest option. Perhaps it could have been if the triangle lasted only a few months, but this triangle lasted for years setting everything around it on fire.

Maybe it was because of Pluto. Maybe it was because, despite all the pain and uncertainty, I never stopped hoping that when the triangle was over, Lucas would choose me, and we would ride off into the sunset together.

Even if I never wanted to take away Maya's happiness, the selfish part of me let the triangle go on for so long because there was a chance Lucas would pick me. But then the triangle did end, and I wasn't the lucky winner. I let it go on for so long, I let it consume every part of my life and in the end, I didn't get the guy and I lost my friends.

A soft knock at the bay window interrupted my thoughts. Grateful for the interruption, I walked over to the window to see it who it was. To my surprise, it was Smackle.

"Smackle? What are you doing here?" I asked genuinely surprised.

"Risking my perfect attendance record obviously. But I saw you run out of school and I became very worried as you also have an almost perfect attendance record and I don't think you would risk it so close to graduating." Smackle rambled. It was obvious she was nervous, but I wasn't in the right head space to offer any comfort.

"I just needed a mental health day I guess." I offered.

"I know for a certainty, that's false. You noticed Maya being affectionate towards Lucas and then bolted for the door." Also, you've been gone from the group for so long, it's affecting some people and not in a good way." Smackle responded.

Assuming Smackle was speaking about Farkle, I started to apologize.

"No apology needed Riley. Farkle feels sorry for your argument. He feels guilty but is unable to come up with a way to make it right. That's not why I'm here though, that's something for you two to figure out amongst yourselves." Smackle interrupted.

"Ok…" I said, beginning to feel confused as to why Smackle was really here.

"Riley. I don't know if I did something to upset you but if I did I'm sorry."

Guilt immediately overtook my entire body. As an individual who struggled to understand feelings, I should have known that Smackle would be most confused by my sudden disappearance from the group.

"Smackle, I can assure you, you have done absolutely nothing wrong. I just needed some space from the…triangle." I confessed.

"Riley, do you still have romantic feelings for Lucas?"

I froze, surprise by the question. I didn't expect for Smackle to ask me such a personal question. I didn't know how to answer her, so I pivoted.

"Smackle, it doesn't really matter. Lucas made his decision and there's nothing I can do to change it." I answered, hoping that was enough to change the subject.

Smackle looked at me strangely. It looked as if she was going to say something but then quickly changed her mind. Instead saying, "Riley, do you remember how Farkle outed your big secret during News Year Eve in middle school?"

Of course, I remember, how could I forget? It was the night that set this whole mess in motion.

"Yes?" I answered, confused by the sudden change in direction, but grateful nonetheless.

"I know my dearest absolutely did not go about it in the right way, but in the end, it did get you guys to talk that night. However, I think somewhere along the way, you guys forgot to keep talking. It's what you're doing right now. You're literally running away instead of talking."

"Smackle, I think it's much more complicated than simply a lack of communication." I answered

"Perhaps it is. But do you really know that? It seems like you're working with only half of the picture here Riley and you won't really understand everything until you start communicating again. I know you think running is easier, but a day will come where that won't be enough."

Sensing my hesitation, Smackle quickly added, "Just think about it okay?"

"Ok, I will." I agreed.

"It was pleasant talking to you again Riley. Perhaps we can do it again sometime in the future?"

"Always Smackle, thank you coming to check on me." I smiled, watching her climb out of the window.

Talking to Smackle didn't give me any of the answers I needed, but it felt good to have one reunion that didn't end in tears or an argument.

* * *

A soft knock at my door interrupted my thoughts, "Riley, honey can I come in?" My dad asked.

The moment I was dreading, I was going to hear it for missing school today. But I should consider it a small victory that my dad was sent in to handle this and not …Topanga.

"Sure, dad come in." I replied, bracing myself for impact.

"Hiya kiddo, we missed you at school today." Cory said softly, upon entering the room.

"I know Dad, I'm sorry. I just couldn't be there today…" I knew the excuse sounded lame, but I didn't know what else to say.

"I get it. Sometimes you need a break from…things. But don't make a habit of it okay? And for the love of God, don't tell your mom for at least another 10 years…or maybe even wait until she's on her death bed."

"Deal." I agreed, giggling.

Cory lingered at the door before ultimately deciding to sit at the bay window and patting the empty space next to him

"What is it, Dad?" I asked, walking over and sitting down.

"Honey, I just want to make everything is okay. You know prom and graduation are going to be here before you know it and I just don't want you to look back and regret not spending these moments with your friends."

He was right. These would be significant moments in my life. But in some ways the absence of my friends was preferable to the alternative. If my friends were still here, if the triangle was still on, that meant spending prom night trying to even up any time Maya spent with Lucas.

"I know, Dad. I didn't mean for things to get this bad. I know you've always taught me the importance of friendship, but it just got to the point where all my relationships stopped feeling like friendships and started feeling more like chores…"

I didn't know if that sounded harsh, but I was trying desperately to make my Dad understand because I couldn't stand the idea of him being disappointed in me. I wasn't trying to be a terrible person or a bad friend.

"Riley, it's okay. I know what it must have cost you to step away from your friends. While I will always hold out hope that you guys find your way back to each other, I'm still very proud of you Riley." Cory confessed.

"Really?"

"Of course, sweetie. I always will be. Even if you didn't admit it to us, your mom & I could see how bad the triangle was affecting you. But this year Riley, despite all the pain you faced, you picked yourself up. You finally went out for the cheerleading squad and you got on it! You stepped out of your comfort zone and…I'm just so proud of you Riley. You're so strong, just like your mom."

My eyes glistened with tears. Every day that I spent away from my friends I was racked with guilt, but it was nice to hear from someone that they were proud of at least some of the decisions.

"It's okay to put yourself first sometimes Riley. Maybe you find your way back to your friends, maybe you don't. Maybe if you guys do find a way back, it will take some time before you guys feel normal again or maybe it won't ever feel the same as it was before. But the most important thing, is that no matter what happens with your friends, you don't lose yourself again Riley." My dad continued.

"Thank you, Dad. I needed that. I love you." I said, leaning my head on his shoulders and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I love you too, honey."

* * *

**DOES SMACKLE KNOW SOMETHING RILEY DOESN'T? WHAT PART OF THE PICTURE IS RILEY MISSING? NEXT UP MORE FLASHBACKS AND A CONVERSATION WITH HER DAD **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chap. 6 **

**Authors Note**: So, this chapter took me by surprise. Not that its terribly exciting, but I wasn't really intending to write anything from Lucas's P.O.V. But I have a writing playlist and while writing "This Woman's Work" by Greg Laswell played and it inspired me!

So credits for the song go to Mr. Greg Laswell!

It's kind of a long chapter and it does flip back and forth between Lucas & Riley/ and there's flashbacks, so I apologize if it gets hard to follow!

Enjoy!

* * *

**RILEY'S P.O.V. **

_Pray God you can cope _

_I'll stand outside _

_This woman's work_

_This woman's world _

_Ooo…its hard on the man _

_Now his part is over _

_Now starts the craft of the Father  
_

The rest of the week passed by largely uneventful. It wasn't as horrible as the first day, but I still needed a night out to put the week behind me. As music played while I got ready, I couldn't help but remember the last party of junior year.

_***FLASHBACK**__*: __**End of Junior Year **_

_No matter how many parties I accompanied Lucas to, I was always taken by surprise at how loud it could get. But tonight, I was grateful for the amount of noise emanating from the party because it was almost loud enough to drown my thoughts. Almost. _

_My friends were spread out across the house. Maya and Lucas were somewhere in the kitchen probably looking for food.. Zay was on the dance floor and Farkle & Smackle were probably off somewhere discussing theories of some kind of science. _

_I stepped out unto the balcony to get fresh air. _

"_It's such a beautiful night, isn't it? Lucas spoke up, startling me in the process. _

"_Oh, hi Lucas! I didn't hear you come behind me. You have silent footsteps, you could be a very good burglar." I knew I was rambling, but I couldn't stop. An effect, Lucas always seemed to have on me. _

_Lucas chuckled, "Thanks, I guess. I'll keep that in mind when I'm receiving college rejection letters next year." _

_I rolled my eyes, "Oh please. You could probably charm your way into any school you wanted." _

"_Oh, so you think I'm charming? What else do you think of me?" Lucas asked teasingly, closing the space between us. _

"_I also think that your head is big enough, Mr. Popular Football Player so I refuse to give you any more compliments. One per year, that's all you get." I replied, giggling. _

"_Well, I can still give you a compliment, right?" Lucas asked. _

"_Sure", I whispered, suddenly very aware of how close we were. _

"_I think you're beautiful Riley." Lucas said softly as he lifted his hand to cup my cheek. _

_My breath caught in my throat, as he leaned in closer to my face and closed his eyes. Maybe this was the moment, I had been waiting for all this time. _

_Someone cleared their throat behind us and we jumped apart. Todd, a guy from the team was standing there awkwardly. Finally, he said, "Um, Lucas, Zay is on his 10__th__ shot and trying to give everyone a strip tease again." _

_I giggled, Lucas groaned, and turned to me, "Excuse me, I have to go protect Zay's dignity yet again." _

_Lucas left, while Todd remained on the balcony, eyeing me curiously. Finally, I got fed up. _

"_Todd, do you need something else? Do you have something to say? I asked, clearly annoyed. _

"_I'm sorry, Riley, I'm just trying to understand how it all works?" Todd said, casually. _

"_What do you mean?" _

"_I mean this triangle thing? You and Lucas were looking pretty cozy out here. Does that mean, that Lucas will have to do the exactly the same thing with Maya later on. Isn't that a little weird?" _

_All of sudden reality came crashing down around me. For a minute, it felt like it was just me and Lucas. Two stupid kids about to share their first real kiss after years of longing. But that wasn't the case. Todd was right, if Lucas had kissed me, there be a moment later in the night where he would have to do the exact same with Maya. The idea of Lucas sharing what seemed to be an intimate and special moment between us, with another person, even Maya, made me feel sick. _

"_I'm not knocking it, I mean to each their own. But isn't weird? How do you even know that what was about to happen between you two guys was genuine? I mean I couldn't live like that, I would go crazy." Todd continued_

_But I was already gone, the damage was done. I couldn't think about the moment Lucas and I just shared without thinking that he would inevitably have to find some way to make it even with Maya. I wanted every special moment I could get with Lucas, but not like this. I never wanted to feel like this again. _

_I pushed passed Todd and made my way towards the front door of the house. _

"_Riley, hey Riley! Wait up! Where are you going?" Lucas stopped me before I got to the front door. _

_Putting on my brave face, I spun around to face him, "Lucas, hey. I'm going to head home, I'm kind of tired." _

"_Okay, let me grab Zay and I can take you home." _

"_No, it's okay, you stay and have fun! I'll be fine." I replied, eager to get as far from him as I could. _

"_Are you sure? I really don't mind. I actually wanted to talk to you about something." _

"_Maybe we could talk tomorrow? I'm really tired, Lucas." And it was true, I was so tired. I was exhausted. I could feel the triangle burning down whatever was left of me, extinguishing any part of me that had remained hopeful over the years. The triangle had finally won. _

"_Okay, sure. I'll text you. Get some rest Riley, I'll see you tomorrow." Lucas relented. _

_But he wouldn't. He wouldn't see me tomorrow. In fact, he wouldn't see me again until school started in September. _

_I left the party, letting myself feel all the pain, I had fooled myself into thinking wasn't there. I walked away making plans to disappear for as long as I could. _

* * *

**LUCAS P.O.V.**

_I know you have a little life in you yet,_

_I know you have a lot of strength left _

_I know you have a little life in you yet_

_I know you have a lot of strength left_

Soft music played from my laptop, while I held the bottle of whiskey close to my chest. I smiled a little, My Riley Playlist. The only connection I had to her as of late. It was made up songs that reminded me of her, songs she had recommended and songs we discovered together.

At first the playlist was helpful in dragging me out of the darkest corners of my mind, now it only served as a painful reminder that she no longer held a presence in my life.

_I should be crying, but I just can't let it show_

_I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking _

_Of all the things I should've said but I never said _

_And all the things we should've done but we never did _

_And all the things we should've given but I didn't _

_Oh, my darling_

_Make it go _

_Make it go away_

Here I was another Friday night, getting drunk and going out to party to numb the pain I felt. All my regret and mistakes were constantly weighing on me.

My phone chimed. A text from Maya. "Hey, do you want to get together and drink before the party?" Ha. She was two bottles too late.

_***FLASHBACK**_***: End of Junior Year**

_I was finally ready, terrified, but nonetheless ready to put an end to this madness. I told Riley that I wouldn't do anything to hurt Maya because I knew it would hurt Riley. My number one priority was always to protect Riley. And the moment had finally arrived, where I could get the girl I wanted, without hurting her best friend. _

_Maya was in a much better place. Shawn was in her life and with his help, she was able to start feeling whole again. Her mom and Shawn were even starting to get more serious. Maya was filled with hope, which was something Riley always wanted for her. _

_Of course, Maya being Maya, she was scared to jinx it, so she refused to tell Riley that she had remained hopeful and something good was finally happening. But I knew, that even if Maya did have real feelings for me and I ended this triangle tonight, Maya would be just fine. Not perfect, but it wouldn't completely destroy all of us. _

_I went searching for Riley and found her on the balcony looking at the stars. My heart pounded in my chest at the perfect angel in front of me. My moment was finally here._

_Give me these moments back_

_Give them back to me_

_Give me that little kiss _

_Give me your…hand  
_

But my moment never came. I left Riley on that balcony that night in order to help Zay. She left the party and I didn't see her again until September. In her absence everything had gone to shit. She really was the glue holding us together, holding me together.

All in the matter of one summer, I had lost my grandpa, Maya had lost any possibility at a "family" and we had both lost Riley, without so much as an explanation.

* * *

**RILEY'S P.O.V.**

_I know you have a little life in you yet,_

_I know you have a lot of strength left_

_I know you have a little in life in you yet_

_I know you have a lot of strength left_

_I should be crying, but I just can't let it show_

_I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking_

_Of all the things we should've said but we never said _

_And all the things we should've done but we never did  
_

I wondered if Lucas remembered anything from that night on the balcony. If it meant as much to him as it did to me.

I never told anyone of the conversation I had with Todd that night. No one really know what made me disappear for the summer. Not that it mattered anymore.

I finished getting ready and headed out the door.

* * *

**LUCAS P.O.V **

_And all the things that you needed from me_

_And all the things that you wanted for me_

_And all the things I should've done but I didn't_

I made a promise to myself and to Riley that I would never go back to Texas Lucas. But those promises didn't matter anymore because Riley wasn't around. The only things that were still around were the weight of my mistakes and…whiskey. I finished chugging the bottle and headed out the door for yet another night of partying

_Oh, my darling_

_Make it go _

_Make it go away _

_Now _


	7. Chapter 7

The music was blaring, people were yelling, and the smell of alcohol was overwhelming. But it was a nice reprieve from being in my head all the time.

I stopped at the kitchen to get a beer running into Farkle in the process. We hadn't spoken since our confrontation at school in November.

"Riley, Hi." Farkle said awkwardly, looking everywhere but my face.

I let out an exasperated sigh, "Farkle, are you done being mad at me now?"

"What?" Farkle looked at me in genuine surprise, "Why should I be mad?" I was the one who acted like a complete jerk to you…I was the one who didn't bother to check if you were okay all those months…"

"Farkle, you were hurt, I get it. I'm sorry for what was it that you said, "taking my friendship away, without discussing it with you first" I said teasingly. Choosing to ignore the latter part of his statement because it was just easier to keep things light for now.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." Farkle deadpanned.

"I can't believe you would use one of my favorite movies against me!" I exclaimed.

"hey desperate times, called for desperate measures." Farkle shrugged. "Riley, are we going to be okay?" Farkle asked, suddenly becoming very serious.

"I honestly don't know Farkle." I watched Farkle's face fall. I knew it wasn't the answer he wanted, but I honestly didn't know how this chapter in our lives would end, or if my friends would still even be there at the end of the book.

"But, I'd like to think that maybe we will be, at least someday." I continued, holding my arms open for a hug. There was still a lot that needed to be said, but for now this was enough.

As we released each other, we heard a loud crash coming from the living room.

Following the noise to the middle of the dance floor, we saw two guys who seemed to be in the middle of a fight. As we got closer, I realized one of the boys was Lucas.

"Not again" Farkle muttered. Not again? Was this a normal occurrence?

Zay was attempting to hold Lucas back, but Lucas was too strong and eventually broke out of Zay's hold. Before I could really register what was going on, Lucas snapped his fist back and punched the guy in the nose.

"Farkle!" Zay yelled, "Help?" Farkle walked over and together with some boys on the football team, they were able to restrain Lucas long enough to get him out of the living room.

I didn't know what I should do. Should I go after them?

Sensing my hesitation, Maya who had been silent through the entire ordeal, walked over, and offered only five words before taking off after Lucas.

"You can't fix everything, Riles."

I guess my decision was made for me.

**Later on, that night: **

I sat in my room, my head still reeling from the events of the night. What had made Lucas so angry?

A soft knock at my window interrupted my thoughts. I walked over slowly, unsure of what or who to expect outside of my window.

"Zay! What are you doing here? Its so late!" I was even more surprised to find him at my window. He was after all Lucas's best friend.

"Riley, oh my god, it's only 11! I'm fine by the way. Is that how we're greeting people at the bay window now? Zay replied, sarcastically.

"First of all, 11 is definitely too late to drop by someone's house using the front door, so I have to assume it's even worse if you climb through someone's window at that time!" I complained.

"It's so nice to be speaking to you again Cotton Candy Face. I'm so glad that in my absence or rather your absence, your flare for the dramatics hasn't disappeared. Zay continued.

"Yeah, I get it. I've been away for a while. Is that why you're here?" I replied, rolling my eyes.

"No, but I should say, I have missed you Riley. When this dark and twisty phase is over, I hope we find our way back to each other." Zay teased in an over exaggerated Texas accent.

"Oh now, who's the dramatic one?" I replied, giggling for a second. I knew that even though Zay was joking about my absence, there was still some hurt lying beneath the surface of his words.

"I'm sorry Zay. I really am. There aren't any words or explanations that I can offer which would make sense or make you feel better. But I needed this time to myself and I hope one day you can forgive me."

"No apology needed, Riley. I get it, there's nothing to forgive. I actually should be the one asking for your forgiveness" Zay smiled, shyly.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously

"Riley, I'm sorry because I know how much you needed this time away and I know how much you must have worked to put yourself together and what I'm about to ask of you may jeopardize that. Zay rambled. There was a shift in his tone. I could sense we were no longer joking around or laughing like old times.

"Zay, just spit out, you're making me nervous. But as a full disclaimer, no, I won't join you in killing whoever it is you want to kill this weekend. I joked, still hoping we could return to the light-hearted banter from earlier.

"Riley, I need you to talk to Lucas."

And that was it. Zay had asked me to do the one thing I absolutely couldn't do. I would rather help him murder one of our classmates.

Sensing I was about to say no, Zay continued, "Please. Just hear me out, Cotton Candy Face. I'm really worried about him. Tonight's show was not the first time Lucas has been less than pleasant to say the least. He's been getting drunk a lot and getting into stupid fights."

Suddenly the run in with Lucas in November made sense. In all the parties I attended with him, he never got drunk. He may have had one or two drinks, but he never got as drunk as I saw him in November.

However, Maya's words from earlier still rang in my head. "Have you tried talking to Maya about this? I mean she's his girlfriend?" I replied, beginning to regret letting Zay into my room.

Zay looked at me strangely, "His what? Look Riley, I don't know what you think you know..."

"What do you mean?" I interrupted.

Zay sighed, shaking his head before continuing, "Nothing. Look Maya isn't exactly in the best place either. In fact, she drinks along with him and refuses to see he has a problem. You know she was always really attracted to Dark Lucas."

Of course, I remember. I remember all too clearly.

"I don't know Zay. Maybe you should talk to an adult about this. I don't think my help would really be welcomed and I wouldn't know how to begin to help anyways."

"I know what I'm asking of you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't think this was the only way to get Lucas to at least think about getting help. Please just consider it?" Zay pleaded.

"Okay Zay, I'll think about it." I responded, knowing there was no way in hell I could do what he asked of me.

I knew my answer as soon as the words left Zay's mouth. No. It was simple. I couldn't be the Riley, Lucas needed.

But in the end, I should have known, that sometimes life has a way of testing your will.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay guys! Life got hectic and then spring break happened, and i went to NOLA. it was great, but i barely had time to touch my laptop!

Also shout out to the last guest review! super sweet and really what i needed to read to keep this story going so thank you so much! Without further delay: Chap. 8 of Easier!

enjoy:)

* * *

"Riley, what are you doing?" Charlie asked, rolling his eyes.

"I'm going to sit here and meditate until the universe provides me with some sort of answer." I sat cross-legged on the gym floor, taking a break from prom planning. I could feel Lucas's intense gaze from across the gym, and it was taking everything in me not to look in his direction.

During my break from my friends, Charlie had become a good friend. The only person who knew all of my new secrets and who had provided endless support in the months following my conversation with Maya.

"Riley, I've been by your side as you worked to get yourself back to Smiley Riley again. I've seen all the work you've put into finding yourself outside of all that crazy. I guess what you need to ask yourself, is whether all that work has prepared you to do this?"

It didn't feel like I had done that much work. I didn't feel prepared for anything, much less a conversation with Lucas about his self-destructive behavior.

"I don't know! Charlie, just tell me what to do!" I whined.

"I don't know what you want me to say. You said you needed time and space to heal and I honestly don't know if you've gotten enough time and space. I don't see how, when every other second of the day, you're having arguments and bay window conversations with your former friends." Charlie confessed.

"So, you're the reason she won't talk to us anymore?" Lucas spoke up, from behind us.

The color drained from my face as Charlie turned to face him. It would have been perfect comedic timing, if the look on Lucas's face wasn't absolutely terrifying. When did he even get here?

"Huh, Gardner? You've just been waiting for the day where you could trick her into dating you. So pathetic." Lucas said getting closer.

"Friar, you don't know what you're talking about, so how about you just walk away." Charlie warned.

"Or what?" Lucas asked, menacingly, closing the space between him and Charlie.

"Lucas…" I started.

"It's okay, Riley. I got this" Charlie, assured me, turning to face me and then turning to Lucas. "Lucas are you drunk?" Charlie whispered. But I still heard him.

Ignoring his question, Lucas continued "What are you her boyfriend? She can't speak, unless she has your permission? Is that it?" Lucas, taunted, shoving Charlie backwards.

"Lucas, STOP! That's enough!" I yelled.

"Oh, look at that, she speaks! Is this what I have to do? Huh? Push Gardner around to get you to speak?" Lucas continued.

I couldn't recognize the Lucas in front of me. And for the first time, since I met him, I felt uncertain as to what he was capable of.

Zay, seeming to notice that something was going on, hurried over in our direction.

"Oh, look, now it's a party! Now we have ourselves a little family reunion." Lucas cheered sarcastically.

"Lucas, c'mon man let's walk it off. Don't do this here" Zay, warned

"Zay, I think he's been drinking." I interjected. Zay shot me a look. His look told me everything I needed to know. Apparently, this wasn't something new and it was certainly not something I should be pointing out in front of Lucas.

"C'mon man. Let's get you home before anything happens." Zay tried again.

"What is everyone so worried about? That I may blow up? Are you scared Riley? Does Texas Lucas scare you?" Lucas took a step closer to Riley.

Charlie stepped in between us, placing a hand on his chest, "Lucas, maybe you should listen to Zay and take a walk." Charlie said calmly

"Get your damn hands off me! What? I can't get close to Riley?" Lucas bellowed. Before anyone could stop him, Lucas had pushed Charlie to the ground and started punching him repeatedly in the face.

It felt like years before someone got an adult to pull Lucas off of Charlie. Reality came crashing down when I heard the coach yell, "CHARLIE NURSE! MATTHEWS, FRIAR, BABINEAUX, DETENTION AFTER SCHOOL!"

* * *

**AFTER SCHOOL: **

"Charlie, I'm so sorry. I don't know how to make this up to you, but I swear, I will. I never meant for you to get involved in my mess." I said, close to tears.

Charlie looked just as bad as I felt. Although nothing was broken, his nose was pretty swollen, and he was holding the sweater he was wearing earlier, which was now covered in blood. Blood which only served to remind me, just how violent Lucas had become.

"It's okay, Riley. If it means protecting you, I think I can take a couple of punches here and there. I'm more worried about you. Spending three hours in detention…with him. I can't imagine you're too excited about that." Charlie looked at me, concern written all over his face.

There were no words to describe how much I was dreading entering the classroom where detention was being held. Before Zay had left my room, I thought I knew beyond a reasonable doubt that I couldn't bring myself talk to Lucas about his behavior.

But, after he left, I started to worry. What if I didn't talk to him? What would happen to him? And Maya, what kind of self-destructing behavior was she engaging in?

However, today's events made one thing clear. There was no point in talking to Lucas. In fact, I never wanted to see or speak to him again. It was easier not to miss him when I didn't recognize him anymore. The Lucas whose lap I had fallen into, who I shared that moment with on the balcony and who I spent years pining over, was gone. No amount of talking was going to bring him back.

"Three hours. How bad can it be? I'll do my work and keep to myself. I'm good at that." I replied, hugging Charlie and preparing myself to enter the classroom.

I walked into the room, fully prepared to ignore everyone, including Zay. If he hadn't come through my window trying to get me to talk to Lucas, I wouldn't have been discussing it with Charlie in the first place and Charlie's nose wouldn't be the size of a grapefruit.

"Cotton Candy Face! So good to see you! What brings you here?" Zay asked, cheerfully.

Unbelievable. I glared at him and sat down without answering.

"Yikes! Tough Crowd!" Zay, muttered.

"Don't bother Zay, she won't talk to anyone unless her boyfriend is around." Lucas, responded.

I rolled my eyes. If he was going to act like a child, fine, that made ignoring him that much easier.

"Boyfriend? Charlie? Nah, I don't think so. Plus, I went to see Riley last Friday and we had a great conversation. I didn't do a sweep through of the room, but there was no Charlie there, right Riley?" Zay joked.

Lucas's head snapped in my direction. I chose to ignore that too and instead focused on burning holes into Zay's head.

"Friday? You were with me almost all day, except for a couple of hours before the party. And then after the party, you went home?" Lucas, questioned, focusing on Zay.

"Yes, I went home after stopping by Riley's. Didn't I mention that?" Zay played dumb.

"No. I think I would remember that. What were you doing at Riley's? Lucas replied, an edge in his voice

"Talking." Zay responded simply.

"About what?" Lucas questioned, growing impatient.

"Nothing. We talked about nothing." I spoke up for the first time. It was obvious Zay was trying to bait me into talking to Lucas about his problem, but I refused to play his game. Lucas was beyond help.

"Really? Nothing? So, does Zay usually drop by your room at odd hours of the night to talk about nothing?" Lucas challenged, directing his full attention to me.

"No. But what we did or didn't talk about is none of your concern. So, drop it." I replied sternly, desperate for all conversation to end.

"No. Cotton Candy Face, remember? It wanted you to talk to Lucas about…" Zay said, pointing his head ever so subtly in Lucas's direction.

I couldn't believe that I was going to end up in prison before I attended college.

"Talk to me about what?" Lucas interjected.

"I'm not doing this Zay. Not here, not now. Not ever. So, drop it," I growled, completely ignoring Lucas's question.

Lucas scoffed, "Typical Riley, never wanting to confront anything head on. Always too scared to ever speak up. I don't know why I should expect anything less from you. It's just easier for you right? To just ignore everyone and…"

"Lucas." Zay warned. But something in me had already snapped.

"You want me to speak up Lucas? Is that it? Do you want me to say how I'm feeling, or would it be more convenient for you if I put it in a letter?" Riley asked, looking Lucas straight in eye for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

The color drained from his face. I guess he didn't expect me to start there. But I didn't care. If he wanted me to speak up, I would. If Zay wanted us to talk, then we would we talk. But I would be the one controlling the narrative, not him.

"I know what you must think, I'm such a coward because I can only tell you how I feel through letters." I quoted his own words back to him. "I'm too scared? You have some nerve. YOU, the guy who completely destroyed this group over a love triangle because you were too much of a COWARD to make a decision."

"Riley, this is not what I had in mind actually…" Zay interrupted.

"Shut up Zay! You've said more than enough, trust me!" I yelled, frustrated at him, the situation and everything that had led me to this point.

"Riley, you don't know what you're talking about…." Lucas started

"No. I know exactly what I'm talking about. You Lucas Friar, are the real coward. I'm not a coward because I walked away. Walking away from this friend group…from you… was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But I did it. I walked away so that I could survive. So that I could put myself back together. And I won't apologize for that. That doesn't make me weak Lucas, that makes me pretty freaking strong."

"Riles…" Lucas started. But I wasn't going to let him talk. He had done enough talking.

"You remember what you said to me in November? That I needed to start facing the consequences of my choices? Well so do you Lucas. Do you know what's really weak? Turning to alcohol and dumb fights, instead of dealing with whatever mess you've made. Is that what's easier for you Lucas?" I challenged.

My words hung in the air. No one said a word. The seconds ticked by for what seemed like an eternity. I certainly wasn't going to wait around for round 2.

So, I gathered my things and walked towards the door, only stopping to face Lucas one last time,

"There I spoke up. Happy?" I spit, before letting the door slam behind me. Hoping that was the last of it, I continued to walk down the hall trying to regain control of my breathing.

"RILEY! HEY! WAIT UP! PLEASE! Lucas yelled after me.

"What do you want Lucas? I think I said all that needed to be said!" I yelled, continuing to walk towards the front door.

"Riley, please just hear me out" Lucas said, catching up to me and grabbing my wrist.

"Don't you dare touch me!", I reacted instinctively yanking my wrist away, remembering the bloody mess he had turned Charlie into

Lucas recoiled, as if I had slapped him, "Riley… I would never do anything to hurt you like that. You have to know that"

"No actually Lucas, I don't know that. I honestly don't know who you are." I replied

Taking a second to absorb my words, Lucas responded, "Riley, I'm sorry. I know I've been acting like an asshole. Just give me a chance to explain. Give me a chance to fix this."

"That's just it, Lucas. I've been waiting for you to explain yourself for years. And now it's too late, I just…I can't keep doing this with you. I won't." I cried.

"So, what you just want to keep running away?" Lucas asked angrily. "I'm not going to let you keep taking the easy way out. Stay here. Talk to me."

"LUCAS! Nothing about this is easy. Nothing about this entire situation has ever been easy." I responded, growing frustrated. "I just have nothing else to say. Don't you get it? I've said all I've needed to say. So please, just let this be the last thing I ever have to say you."

Lucas looked at me with hurt written all over his face, searching my face, looking and waiting for any sign that I didn't mean the words I had just said. But he wouldn't find anything. What I really wanted more than anything was for Lucas to just let me go.

I had tried waiting the triangle out and it destroyed me. I tried to walk away from it and it just followed me. I was tired. I just wanted it to be done.

Sensing I would receive no response from Lucas, I spun around and walked towards the doors.

Hearing only the sound of Lucas punching a locker behind me, I walked out the front door, confident that those would be the last words I ever said to Lucas Friar.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chap. 9 **

Author's Note: It seems like Riley's had a run-in with everyone except…MAYA

Sorry it took so long for an update, I literally could not write this chapter. There are at least 30 different versions of this chapter on my laptop. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Maya's dialogue or her motivations right. It was really challenging to see this situation from her, but I finally think I put together something that comes close to how I wanted this story to roll out.

This story only has one chapter left! Thanks for hanging around!

Also, thanks for the reviews, from the bottom of my heart, i really appreciated them all.

Enjoy :)

* * *

_Flash back to the Last Party of Junior Year:_

_Maya's P.O.V. _

_It was the last party of junior year and for the first time, I felt like I was beginning to understand who I was in this world. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had more clarity about my feelings and about life in general. _

"_Maya, can we talk?" Lucas interrupted my thoughts. _

"_Sure" I responded. _

"_Maya, I don't want to hurt you, but I think the time has come to put an end to all of this. I promised Riley, I would never hurt her. And I know that if I hurt you, I hurt her. But I think the alternative, at least for me, is worse. Lucas confessed _

"_I know, Huckleberry." _

"_You know?" _

"_I know how you feel about Riley isn't the same as how you feel about me. And now I know the way Riley feels for you isn't the same way I feel about you." _

"_ok…but then why the triangle?" _

"_In middle school, I was honestly confused about my feelings. I think we all were. But as we got older, I think that at least for me, this triangle became more about Riley and I. Or at least some issue with me..." Maya, confessed, trying to make sense of all the revelations, she had this past year. _

"_Okay, I'm still not following…" Lucas responded. _

"_It doesn't matter, Huckleberry. Go to her, tell her how you feel. I'll be just fine." I smiled. A look of understanding washed over Lucas's face and he smiled gratefully. _

"_Thank you so much, Maya. I'm going to go find Riley now!" _

_And it really did feel like I would be fine. There was no knot in my stomach at the possibility of Riley & Lucas becoming a couple. If anything, I felt relief. Riley would get Lucas. I had Shawn and I would always have Riley. _

_Everything was going to be just fine. _

* * *

**Present Day:**

Riley's P.O.V.

Winter came and went. Spring flowers started to bloom. Acceptance letters started to pour in and I had already made my decision to attend college in California. A fresh new start, in a place where no one knew about Maya, Riley and Lucas. It was just Riley. And that was okay.

Perhaps the argument during detention was for the best. Perhaps this was how my story with Lucas was supposed to end. Maybe there was some hope for my friends but my story with Lucas was over. It was both kind of a relief and completely heartbreaking all at the same time.

Before I knew it, prom night had arrived, and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel. Maya & I had always talked about this night. Well mostly I just went on and on, while Maya simply said, "Whatever you want Honey"

"Riley, there's someone here for you! I'm sending them up to your room!" my mom, yelled.

Almost immediately, there was a soft knock at the door. "Come in", I replied, expecting Charlie or some girls from the team.

I turned around and came face to face with the last person I ever expected to see in my room again. "Maya" I gasped.

"Riles…." Maya whispered, and without another word, we slowly walked into other's arms and cried for what seemed like an eternity. And when we thought, we had cried all the tears we could cry, we cried some more.

After eventually calming down, we walked over to the bay window and awkwardly sat down. The last time I was here with Maya, I was saying goodbye to any chance with Lucas, the triangle and everything it touched, including my friends.

"It's been awhile…" Maya started,

"Yeah…" I responded, unsure of how to start a conversation with her.

"Why don't I start at the beginning?" Maya suggested.

I nodded, gesturing for her to continue.

"I've analyzed that conversation we had in September, a thousand times. Thinking about what I could have done or said differently. Or if we should have even had it at all. In a million years, I didn't think one conversation could change the entire course of our friendship." Maya started.

Although I had promised myself I would let her finish her side of the story, I couldn't help but interrupt.

"Yeah, but don't you think our friendship was kinda screwed up before that conversation? I asked quietly. "Maya, you were my favorite person in the entire world, but after your feelings for Lucas came to light, it felt like all of our interactions were defined by Lucas and the triangle…"

"I guess you're right. But that was the one conversation that caused you to walk away from all of us…and we never got an explanation…" Maya struggled to find the right words.

"Why did you start to like Lucas?" I asked abruptly. I couldn't help myself. The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it. If we were going to talk about who did or didn't provide explanations. I wanted an explanation for the one thing I never understood. The one thing I never got an explanation about.

"Riles…I don't think I could give you an explanation that makes sense…" Maya responded, obviously caught off guard by the question.

"Try" I urged

"I don't know. I know that I always liked Josh but there was always a reminder that he was only a fantasy, an impossibility I could only dream about. But you…I would always have you. I would always get to share everything with you and maybe I thought that Lucas was just another thing we could share…" Maya trailed off, sensing my discomfort.

"Lucas wasn't just something else we could share Maya. I cared about him, I cared about him a lot." I responded, feeling myself getting angry.

It didn't make sense for my best friend to develop feelings for the boy I liked simply because she wanted him to be another thing we could share. That wasn't enough for me.

"I know I'm sorry, this is coming out all wrong. Riley, I never wanted our friendship to become another impossibility. I wanted to know that even with new boyfriends or new friends, you would always be there and maybe being in this triangle with you was the best way to do that…" Maya trailed off.

"I know, it seems so stupid to me now. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that but at the time, it made all the sense in the world. But then Shawn came into my life and I had someone to talk to who could help me understand all these stupid feelings." Maya continued

Maya, I don't get what he helped you understand…why did you like Lucas?" I sighed, frustrated that I wasn't getting any clarity from this discussion.

"I'm not sure I ever actually did." Maya whispered, looking down at her hands

"Is that why you started dating him after I told you I didn't like him?" I asked bluntly.

"Dating Huckleberry? Riley have you completely lost your mind?" Maya's head snapped back up.

"Maya, we don't have to lie to each other. This is the first honest conversation we've had in a while…" I replied, annoyed that she would start lying now.

"Riles…I'm not sure what Lucas told you or what you heard...but we're not dating." Maya answered, shaking her head.

I wasn't crazy. I knew what I saw. "Maya, I saw you two kissing at a party back in November." I retorted.

"You saw that? Maya asked, guilt written all over her face. "I don't know what to call what Lucas and I were doing. But we definitely weren't dating. Lucas was completely plastered during that party and he just came up to me and kissed me…"

I held my breath, unsure if I wanted to hear the next words out of Maya's mouth.

"He kissed me…and I did the one thing I know I'll regret for the rest of my life…I kissed him back. He was in a bad place. I was in a worse place. " Maya finished, all in one breathe.

"Hm. But you never liked him, is that right?" I responded, harshly.

"You and I Riley, were never supposed to be an impossibility. We were never a fantasy. Despite all the crap in my life, I knew I always had you for sure. But then you left, and my mom messed things up with Shawn. And all I had left was a boy, who was just as broken as I was."

I stared at her blankly. Sensing I wasn't going to provide a response, Maya continued.

"So, I thought, maybe I was wrong. Maybe our friendship was just a fantasy, just one of those things that life had given me, just to take it away later. Like my Dad and like Shawn. Maybe Lucas was supposed to be my extraordinary non-impossibility relationship."

Tense silence plagued the room.

"Riles, please say something. I was in a rough place, so was Lucas. I never meant to hurt you…" Maya pleaded.

But that didn't matter. Lucas said the same thing to me before setting this triangle in motion and I still got hurt. Intentions didn't matter, the end result was the same.

"I get it. It was awful. It was the cowardly thing to do. I put us in this impossible triangle situation all because I needed you in my life always and when Shawn finally helped me figure those feelings out. You left…and it just became easier to believe that Lucas was the one thing that wasn't an impossibility. He was still there, dark and a mess, but still there. If I couldn't have our friendship, then he had to be it." Maya continued, trying to fill the silence.

I took a deep breath in, attempting to clear my mind before speaking.

"Maya" I started, "Can I give you a hard pill to swallow?"

"Su..sure" Maya stuttered, uncertainly.

"You need to stop depending on others to feel complete." I paused, looking over at Maya to gage her reaction. She looked shocked, to say the least, but I needed to continue.

"People are going to come in and out of your life. It sucks, but that's the reality. You need to be okay with just being with you and not going self-destructive when people leave."

"So that's it? Friendship over? You're out of my life and I need to be okay with that?" Maya retorted.

"That's not what I'm saying Peaches." I respond gently.

"Then what are you saying?" Maya challenged.

"I'm saying…you're enough Maya. It's great that our friendship made you feel happy and safe. It's great that Shawn made you feel like you finally had that father figure you always craved. But at the end of the day, even without those things, Maya you're enough. You don't have to keep on searching for things to make you feel whole."

Maya's eyes filled with tears, "Riles, are we going to be okay?"

That did seem to be the million-dollar question, but I still didn't have a clear answer. I understood Maya's intentions. Even in the darkest moments of my pain, I never believed that there was any malice behind Maya's actions. But the consequences were still the same. The ache, the pain, the memories, all of it were still there.

"I honestly don't know Peaches." I answered honestly.

"This feels an awful lot like a breakup. I mean you're talking about people leaving. I hear you're off to California for college. New place, new friends. Any chance I can convince you to stay?" Maya responded, only half joking.

I knew Maya's question was meant in more ways than one. She wanted me to remain here physically and remain here as the old friend she had and needed.

I chuckled lightly, laying my head on Maya's shoulder. "No, I think I need this." I responded softly

My dad was right. Maybe we would never find a way back to each other after this moment. Maybe we did but things would be different. But above all, I couldn't lose myself. And I didn't know how I could both stay here and not lose myself again.

We settled into another bout of silence. But this one was different than the tense one we had earlier. It was different from all the awkward silences that the triangle had caused. It was different from all the silences experienced in this very room when I was left alone with my thoughts.

For the first time in a long time, this was a peaceful silence. An easier silence.


	10. Chapter 10

I couldn't believe that I was packing to leave for college in two weeks. I had made it. I got through middle school, high school, the triangle and I was excited to start this next chapter in my life.

After my second conversation with Maya, nothing was magically fixed. But for the first time since middle school, I was able to spend some time with my friends without the triangle casting a shadow over every interaction. It almost felt like old times. Almost.

Perhaps part of the reason everything felt lighter was because as far as I could tell, Lucas was nowhere to be found. He wasn't at prom. He wasn't at graduation. He was just gone. I didn't bother to ask any questions about his obvious disappearance and no one offered up any answers.

As the summer carried on, I did try to spend some time with my friends before going off to college, but it was obvious things weren't back to normal yet. I still had some healing to do. We still had some rebuilding to do.

As I was emptying out my closet, a piece of paper fell from one of the shelves and onto the floor right behind me.

"So, you did get my letters?"

I jumped, letting the clothes I had in my hand, fall to the ground. I turned to face Lucas who was holding the paper that had just fallen from the shelf of my closet.

"I wasn't sure, you know. One minute you're telling me you have no idea what letters I'm talking about and the next you're quoting my words back to me." Lucas continued, chuckling lightly and holding the letter in his hand.

"I actually got rid of them that night of the party. I guess I forgot one." I responded quietly.

"Yeah, I guess I deserved that." Lucas responded.

"Lucas, what are you doing here? Who let you in?" I asked, anxious to get this unanticipated visit over and done with.

"Surprisingly, your dad did. When he opened the door and saw it was me, I think he honestly considered closing the door in my face for like a good 10 seconds. Eventually he stepped aside and told me you were in your room." Lucas confessed.

That definitely sounded like my Dad. While he was already fully warmed up to the idea of my other friends coming back around. Lucas was still his sore spot. If I was being honest, he was still mine too.

"Ok…so what are you doing here?" I pressed.

"Right. What am I doing here…" Lucas stalled, "Do you mind if we sit down at the bay window?"

Instinctively I wanted to ask, "What about Maya?" It was weird how even in the aftermath of the triangle, I was still worried about the perpetual balancing act as if it mattered anymore.

"Sure" I said, following Lucas to the bay window. Upon sitting down, I took a second to assess my current situation.

Lucas cleared his throat, "I guess I should explain why I'm here before you come to your senses and kick me out of your room."

I knew he was just trying to lighten the mood, but I couldn't bring myself to crack a smile. Not even a small one. There was something so different about this moment with Lucas. It seemed to make it harder than any other conversation I've ever had.

"I lied to you Riley. I know that probably pales in comparison to the other things I've done. But I need you know that first and foremost because we were never the kind of people who lied to each other."

"What did you lie about?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Back in November, when we ran into each other at that party. I was wasted and angry. You were gone all summer, you weren't talking to me, and then you refused to acknowledge the letters. I was so angry and hurt…I guess I wanted to hurt you back. So, I told you that Maya and I were dating. But we weren't…I lied." Lucas confessed

Suddenly everyone's reaction when I reminded them that Lucas had made his choice, made a little more sense. Not too much sense, I mean dating? Not technically dating? They kissed and did god knows what else.

"Well, mission accomplished." I responded bitterly. While I appreciated his honestly, the truth was that Lucas had hurt me way before that night.

"Riley, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. My main priority has always been to keep you safe." Lucas said earnestly.

"Right." I responded.

"Riley, do you remember the last party of junior year?" Lucas asked all of sudden.

"Yes. What does that have to do with anything?" I said, surprised by the sudden change in topic. Of course, how could I forget the last party of junior year. It was always at the back of my mind, how quickly things had turned sour.

"I was ready to end it that night." Lucas responded

"What? End what? I asked

"The triangle or whatever the hell it was. I was going to end it." Lucas gulped before continuing, "There was never really a choice to make actually. It was you Riley. It's always been you."

I had waited what seemed like an eternity to hear those very words coming from Lucas. I had dreamed about hearing them. But hearing them now only made me feel…angry.

"Really? There was never a choice to make? Is that why you never made it?" I couldn't help it. Lucas couldn't just show up, say a few sweet words and expect that would fix everything that had happened in the last few months or years

"Riley. Please hear me out? I know you're angry, you have every right to b-"

"Thanks, I don't need your permission. I interrupted.

"I never wanted to be the one to hurt you Riley. I never made my choice clear because I knew if I hurt Maya, I would ultimately…hurt you. And I never wanted to be the one who hurt you." Lucas finished, his voice cracking.

"But you did." I replied simply.

"And you left Riley." Lucas shot back. "You left after that party without so much as an explanation. And when you came back…you…never really came back."

"And you kissed my best friend." I retorted, bewildered. I never left with the intention of hurting Lucas or my friends. I was hurt, and I was protecting myself. But he had lied to me and kissed my best friend, specifically to hurt me.

"Riley." Lucas started, speaking barely above a whisper. "I know my actions these past few months are indefensible. I ruined everything with you. I was the worst possible version of myself. I lied, I hurt you."

"Don't forget nearly breaking Charlie's nose." I added.

"Right. Charlie." Lucas scoffed. "I'm sorry I punched your boyfriend."

"Lucas. He's not my boyfriend. But he is my friend. He's a human being and he didn't deserve to be assaulted." I responded annoyed.

"You're right. He didn't. I'm sorry. I'll apologize to him too. It's just the thought of you being with him…made me uncontrollably angry. All I could picture was you and him…" Lucas trailed off.

"What? Kissing? Like you and Maya?" my voice cracking, as I asked the question. I got up and walked towards the door of my room, my body facing away from Lucas. There was no way I was going to cry in front of him.

"Riles…please don't cry." Lucas pleaded from the bay window.

"I'm not." But my voice gave me away.

"Riley…" Lucas whispered, getting up and walking towards me. "Look at me please."

I turned around slowly, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Lucas gently placed his hand under my chin and lifted my head to look at him. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

"I know I have no right to ask this of you especially after I all I put you through. But I'm going to ask anyway because the alternative is losing you forever and I honestly can't even bear the thought. But here goes…"

I held my breath as I waited for him to continue. I was suddenly very aware of everything around me. Lucas's hands were now cupping my face. My heart was beating erratically in my chest and there was no scent of alcohol coming from his mouth. He smelled like old Lucas. Everything about this felt so comfortable, so familiar.

"I love you Riley Matthews. I love you so much and I would very much like your forgiveness. Even though I don't deserve it. But above all Riley, I need to know if there's any part of you that still loves me…"Lucas said softly, a single tear escaping his eye.

It would be so easy to forgive him. To just say "okay" and spend the rest of the night getting to know each other again. It would be so easy to just be with him, but I couldn't.

"Lucas…I'm sorry. I can't." I whispered, shaking my head. Lucas released my face and stepped away from me, returning to his seat at the bay window and putting his head in his hands.

After a moment. He looked back up at me and asked, "You can't forgive me, or you can't love me?"

"Lucas…" I started. I couldn't possibly answer that.

"Answer me Riley. Which one is it?" Lucas demanded.

"Does it matter? If I can't forgive you, I can't be with you. If I don't how to love you, I can't be with you."

"No of course it matters. You can't forgive me now but in time maybe you will. But if you don't love me…then this is over for good." Lucas argued.

"I can't answer your question Lucas."

"So that's it huh? That's how our story ends? Bullshit." Lucas answered, getting up again and walking towards me. "Tell me you don't love me anymore."

"Love? That's a big word. I'm not even sure I like you right now." I smiled, attempting to make a joke that would bring an end to this conversation.

"Ouch." Lucas laughed lightly. "I guess I deserve that. If it helps me get back in your good graces, I'll have you know I have stopped drinking. I'm in therapy and the school really came down on me hard for punching Charlie."

"Is that why you weren't a graduation or prom?" I asked, grateful for a change in topic.

Lucas faked a dramatic gasp, "You noticed my absence? You do still care. But yeah, I was banned from both. I can still graduate but I have to take summer classes if I want to attend college in the fall."

"Are you off to Texas for college?" I asked another question, trying to prolong this pause from our earlier more intense conversation.

"Yeah. I think a change of environment would be good for me. Unless…"

"I'm not staying here. I'll be in California." I responded quickly. My answer was the same as it was for Maya. I couldn't stay here.

"Right. Maya told me." Lucas finished. It was strange how four words could immediately change my mood. Those four words reminded me exactly why I couldn't stay here, why I couldn't bring myself to be vulnerable with Lucas. It reminded me of everything I wished I could forget. I walked over to the bay window and sat down silently.

Sensing the shift in mood, Lucas quickly added, "There's nothing going between me and Maya."

"Yeah…" seemed to be the only response I could offer.

"Riley, I'm serious. I just told you I love you. I'm in love with you. I have always been in love with you. It's always been you. Do you get that?"

I could understand the words coming out his mouth. I could hear them clearly. But what I couldn't understand was how you could both love someone and purposefully hurt them.

"I don't know what you want me to say Lucas." I responded softly, massaging my temples. He had said what I waited years to hear but my heart felt so clogged up. The words didn't seem to land.

Lucas walked over and sat down next to me. Silence plagued the room, the minutes seemed to tick by. We were at a stalemate. I knew what he wanted me to say, what he needed from me, but I couldn't give it to him. It wasn't that easy.

"Lucas?" I said, turning to face him.

"Yeah Riley?" Lucas responded, eagerly.

"I will always care about you. I think you'll always have a piece of my heart. But just because you have that little piece doesn't mean that I have to give you other parts of me." And there it was. That was all I could give.

"Ok Riley."

"I'm sorry Lucas, I'm sorry…I just can't…" I started crying uncontrollably. Crying because I didn't want to be the one to hurt Lucas, but I couldn't hurt myself in order to avoid hurting him.

"hey, hey. It's okay Riley. I get it. I understand." Lucas pulled me in, soothing me, trying to ease the pain. "I don't think this is it for us Riley Matthews. I have hope."

I smiled through my tears, "There's the western hero I know."

Lucas chuckled, "I should get going, this western hero currently has a very strict curfew."

Lucas released me and started out of the window and then paused, "hey maybe this time you can write me letters and at our next big fight, I'll pretend I never got them."

I let out a lough laugh. "Get out of my room Lucas Friar"

"Goodbye Riley Matthews." He laughed and leaned over to kiss me gently on the cheek before exiting out the window.

I smiled to myself, walking over to my desk. I sat down and pulled out a clean loose-leaf paper, writing two words at the top.

_Dear Lucas._

* * *

**Authors Note:** AND THAT CONCLUDES "EASIER"

Don't worry this isn't the end for Lucas & Riley. I'm already working on the second part of their story and on a different story as well.

Any big time Avengers/Marvel fans out there. Please be patient with me as i work on getting these stories out. i'M IN THE END GAME OF MY EDUCATIONAL CAREER

thank you guys who stuck around for this story :) this has been a nice break from the stress of law school and i appreciate those who helped me enjoy this little side hobby!


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